


Reflections

by beckalina



Category: Damon/Affleck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-02
Updated: 2010-02-02
Packaged: 2017-10-06 23:08:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beckalina/pseuds/beckalina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Best friends are forever. Fuck buddies are not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reflections

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written 9/6/2001, making it my first ever Damon/Affleck.

Best friends are forever. It's a mantra that spools on a constant loop through my fucked up brain whenever I find myself thinking of him in a way that's far more than friendly. Best friends are forever. Fuck buddies are not.

That's all we would ever be. I'm not going to wax some poetic shit and say he's my one true love, the one with whom I'm meant to spend the rest of my life. I can't see it, I can't see he and I all wrapped up in some lovey-dovey bullshit.

Though sometimes I wonder if we should just fuck and get it over with. There's this tension – so much tension it's nearly fucking palpable. It crackles in the air between us, invisible sparks flying when I so much as catch his eye.

Despite the tension, he stays completely unfazed. He still throws his arm around my shoulders with complete nonchalance – not worrying that I'll take the gesture for much more than it's worth. I don't fucking get it. How can he not see the electricity between us, the way his arm burns my skin through the layers of clothing?

This all started so long ago, when we were fucking begging for parts and scraping by on the little money either of us would make. We started writing the script, and I would watch him write down the shit that came flying out of my mouth – and find myself thinking of him in ways I'd never imagined.

The funniest shit is that, in truth – I'm not even fucking gay. I've never really found other men attractive, never wanted to be with them, nothing. He's the exception. He's always been the exception, I suppose.

When you're so close to someone for so long, you can't help but start to wonder the possibilities. The things that would happen if one of you dared to take the relationship a few steps further. I'll never act on this shit, I can't. But the thought is always there, sitting in the back of my mind – attacking my thoughts when I least expect it.


End file.
